Jessica Aiken-Hall

Unleashing Secrets

On My Mind

Vulnerability

I’m naked, and bare.

There is nothing left of me to expose.

The secrets I held so dear,

are leaping off of pages,

from eyes to ears.

There is no more hiding.

My inside cringes when I realize what you know.

I can’t take change it now.

I can’t take it back.

Vulnerability takes hold,

And I learn not to push people away.

I pull them close,

And share all that hasn’t been exposed.

Be free.

Be true.

Be you.

Vulnerability is strength.

Vulnerability is pure.

Vulnerability is authentic.

Trust in the power of vulnerability.

Perfection

lrg_dsc00977Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. — Vince Lombardi

I heard about this concept when I was at Onsite. I had spent my whole life chasing perfectionism…which undoubtedly leaded to many feelings of being unworthy. Perfection is almost always out of reach. It was what I chased after, and never got close enough to. What I didn’t know then was, it was all leading me to excellence.

Excellence.

Excellence leaves room to be human. It gives way to the idea that things happen. Life might not be what I had hoped for, but there is still good to be taken away. I might not have graduated with a 4.0 from the graduate program…but I did overcome a lot of awful things while completing my Master’s degree…and still managed to earn a 3.86.

It has always been easy for me to say…thank you…but…it should have done better. Yes, but…I could have tried harder. All that time I pushed away the compliments and hung on tight to the failures I saw. They were comfortable. They were what proved to me that I wasn’t good enough.

Learning to embrace excellence helps me let go of unrealistic goals I will never reach. It helps me enjoy the life that is before me. It takes the pressure off, and I can see things differently. It takes away the need to control things that are out of my control.

Excellence still takes hard work and determination. Excellence is worthy of praise. I will strive for excellence, and let go of perfectionism. And I will set attainable goals.

Leaving perfectionism behind, one stressful act at a time.

Lost

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.

– Winston Churchill

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When you are feeling lost,

don’t forget who you are,

or what you stand for.

When you are feeling alone,

don’t forget, others feel the same way.

Things are never as bad as they seem,

this much I know to be true.

One day at a time,

all the things people say to make you feel better.

They can,

and they do,

but only if you allow them to.

We are in control of how we react to situations.

How we see situations.

Ultimately, it is up to you,

and you alone.

How you perceive it,

and how you allow it take over.

Go for the good.

Go for the strength.

Go for the love.

I Know

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I know.

I know that regardless of the doubt my mind floods with, I am loved.

I know that no matter how much fear that lingers inside of me, I am safe.

I know that even though the names I was once called became who I was, they do not define me.

I know that after all of the lies I was told, I deserve the truth.

I know that when someone gives me a compliment, I can accept it graciously.

I know that there are good people, who mean what they say.

I know that some sins can be forgiven, while others never will.

I know that some days are harder than others,

and the knowing becomes complicated.

The familiarity of pain can take over, and I have to remind myself that

I know.

Where I Linger

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart. ― Roy T. Bennett

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

And maybe, this, is where I linger.

Pushed, and pulled by my fears and dreams.

What if they keep me prisoner?

Trapped by the fear of what may never be.

But, what if it is?

What if there is value behind the fear?

My dreams dance just outside of my comfort zone.

As I watch them shimmer in the distance.

I grab hold, fingers wrapped tight, only to let it go.

Back in my grasp again, I tame the fear.

And realize, there was nothing to be feared in the first place.

Only the dream that cannot be imagined.

There is always a way,

To linger in between,

And awaken a dream from within the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words

Ever since I can remember, I have loved words. Either in songs, poems, quotes, books…it didn’t matter to me. I just needed to be around words. One of my favorite books as a child was a book of quotations that I found on my gram’s bookshelf. I would spend hours reading through it, finding ones that meant something to me, and I would write them on little index cards and tape them up all over my room.

Words made sense in a world where nothing else did. 

This love of words is one of the main reasons that I love Tom Petty’s music so much. His words mean something. They reach the core of my soul, and wrap me in warmth. As the year anniversary of his death is fast approaching, I find myself drawn to looking for more words.

My words have been sparse. For reasons unknown to me. Depression maybe. Grief possibly. Whatever the reason, my words have been harder and harder to set free. This has made it next to impossible to write my weekly blog posts. I watch the days slip by, and the number of posts that I am behind continue to  grow.

I do things all or nothing. If I don’t think I can do a job up to my standards, I just don’t do it. Typically, I am able to force myself into it, and usually I produce results I am mildly  satisfied with. As this challenge taunted me, I found a way around it.

As I was drawn into searching for quotes, I decided to share them here. I will write what comes from the inspiration of the words, and hope to pass along some of the joy they bring.

To start, let’s begin with:

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”— Theodore Roosevelt

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