Hope, poetry, Uncategorized

Where I Linger

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart. ― Roy T. Bennett

 

artistic blossom bright clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

And maybe, this, is where I linger.

Pushed, and pulled by my fears and dreams.

What if they keep me prisoner?

Trapped by the fear of what may never be.

But, what if it is?

What if there is value behind the fear?

My dreams dance just outside of my comfort zone.

As I watch them shimmer in the distance.

I grab hold, fingers wrapped tight, only to let it go.

Back in my grasp again, I tame the fear.

And realize, there was nothing to be feared in the first place.

Only the dream that cannot be imagined.

There is always a way,

To linger in between,

And awaken a dream from within the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depression, poetry, Uncategorized

Sea of Insignificance

8F415B33-F0EC-4FE5-A292-1867DF0FB0E2Deep in the ocean,

the pain swirls round.

Rooting deep in the undercurrent,

it hangs on to everything it touches.

Sticking to the surface,

as it oozes in touching each layer.

Darkness falls in,

casting a haze that encases the surroundings.

Do they even notice?

As the pain takes over?

Do they see?

Does anybody see?

Can I be the only one unnoticed?

The water splashes around,

as the tide crashes in,

into the Sea of Insignificance.

Depression, Grief and Loss, Hope, Love, poetry

The World Keeps Turning

Today is the twenty-sixth anniversary of my dad’s death. He was thirty-seven. In eleven years, he will have been gone as long as he was alive. That thought is hard to wrap my head around. Everyday is a new day, that he does not get to live. Everyday is a new day that I get the chance to make it count.

Some days are harder to remember the gifts set before me, and they are easily taken for granted. Days pass by, and things are left for tomorrow. It is easy to forget that tomorrow may not come. It is easy to forget life has an end point, and that we do not get to know when it all stops.

The last few days, I have been paralyzed with emotion. Not depressed, more like observing. There have been so many things that have happened, and so many things that I wanted to write about. Good things, hard things, memories, feelings, accomplishments…and no words were able to escape. Even today, writing this, I feel the distant block of the words that want to come, but can’t.

Life doesn’t wait,

Like the tide crashing into the rocks.

Like the sun setting behind the mountain.

Life keeps moving,

Even when we are not.

Days pass by,

The sun rises and sets.

The seasons change,

Whether we do or not.

We can wait until the perfect moment,

But life keeps moving.

Stuck in the past,

The present doesn’t wait.

It comes everyday,

And there is nothing that will halt it.

We can be at a standstill,

For days,

For months,

For years.

But life keeps moving.

It is up to us to catch it.

To live it.

To love it.

To find joy in the misery.

To find purpose.

To find balance.

Keep moving.

Embrace the gift of life.

In Memory of Russell Hall

November 12, 1954-June 14, 1992

Depression, poetry, Uncategorized

From the Inside, Looking Out

img_7796

From The Inside, Looking Out

I can see everything so clearly,

everything, except for me.

I can see the beauty in others,

but struggle to see mine.

I can see the happiness and joy from the outside,

but when looking within, it gets lost.

Lost within, deep inside.

I long for the joy that I cannot find.

I long for the connection that others have.

My eyes can see inside others,

but they will not allow me to see what I try to hide.

A lonely, dark place,

where my eyes cannot see what it means to be me.

Isolated in fear,

this cannot be who I am.

This cannot be my life,

or my reason.

I do not see what others see,

but do they see what I can?

Am I the only one,

who cannot see within,

from the inside, looking out?