“We has met in 2000 via a college friend. He said all the right things, and made me feel love like none other before. Soon we were making plans for my move almost 1000 miles away to be closer to each other. After a month his lies began to unravel. He became possessive to the point that I was unable to leave my apartment without him or his mom. I knew no one, and he used that to his advantage. He would say I was “ignorant”, “insane”, and “no one wanted me”. I was “too fat” and “too disrespectful”. He took all my important papers, debit card, ID and Social Security card. This was to ensure I was unable to get away from him. He would scream at me at the drop of a hat. I never knew what would trigger him. One evening I cooked dinner just as he requested. I prepared his plate, and asked him what he would like to drink. He looked at me, didn’t respond and looked back at the tv. I set his plate down, and waited in the kitchen for a response. After 10 mins I asked again. He picked up the plate of food backed me against the wall, and screamed at me about the need to learn respect. He turned to walk away then turned back to me to smack me in the face with the plate of still hot food. He then dragged me by my arm to the door, and pushed me into the breezeway. I knocked on the door begging him to open the door. He told me I was not welcome in “his apartment “ (the apartment was in my name and he legally resided at his parents residence). I walked barefoot and bleeding to the complex office to call 911 fir help. The police arrived and had me walk to my building with them. Another cruiser was already at my apartment where he and his mother (who he called as was his usual pattern). The police were manipulated to believe I was the abuser, and though I was bleeding, burned and covered in bruises while he had not a scratch on him. The police told me to have the EMTs help me stop the bleeding. Once in the ambulance they took me to the hospital where I assumed I would be helped with my wounds however before I knew it I was in the Psych Ward. They had told the police I was suicidal and the wounds were from him trying to keep me from hurting myself. I was released after less then 8hrs, and his mother picked me up. She told me that I “needed to learn to behave myself, and do whatever he wanted”. Thankfully I was able to connect with a lady at church ( one of the only places I was allowed to go as long as his mother was monitoring me) whom helped me escape from him.
I know I am worthy of better. I am a beautiful person inside and out. I am not insane. I was strong enough to get out and away from him, BUT most of all I was strong enough to fight back through the use of the judicial system that failed me when I called for help. I have an order of protection which he violated 5 days after being given. He spent 75 days in jail, and was also charged with criminal threatening fir repeatedly saying how he would kill me in front if 5 local police officers. I had to fike the charges myself as the police were unwilling to do so on my behalf. Each day I get stronger. Each day I’m regaining my happiness.
This is a glimpse into my year long nightmare. Just know there us hope in the darkness. I’m living proof.”
Thank you, Ana, for sharing your story.